Wow, I don’t even know how to even start. 11 days ago we were at the vet her lungs sounded clear and they could hear her heart. When we went in for our 10 day check up on the Leukeran for blood work up it had all changed. Last week we got the culture results saying she had a bacteria & staph infection growing in her bladder. So we started antibiotics on Friday the 16th. That is the day she started panting hard. I just figured it had to do with a little pain in her bladder.
We went in and sat a few minutes before Dr Boyer came in and when she did. She saw how Sassy was breathing my heart sank. I knew it wasn’t good. Dr Bpyer said we could do an xray to see where things were and possible chest tap to take the fluid off. I didn’t want to put Sassy through that. I kinda had that feeling yesterday. I talked to Sassy during the day when I was working and she was laying on my bed. I told her I wouldn’t let her suffer and if it was time she could go. Even though my heart is in a million pieces right now I know I did the right thing. I just miss her terribly. She has fought 9 1/2 months since her amputation and 6 1/2 of those months she had mets. She was tired. I knew she would keep going for me. I couldn’t let her.
Today (Wednesday) was so hard just to fix breakfast for 1 dog. Bosch is lost without his sister. I am lost without my heart. I am trying so hard to keep it together right now. Shari, Dakota’s mom said this was a bond that no one would understand unless they go through it. She is so right. I know it will take time to heal. She will always have my heart.
Michelle & Angel Sassy 
I am so sad… my heart goes out to you. This is not fair… but you did the right thing. Run free, beautiful Sassy. Hugs.
Thanks Mica.
Oh Michelle, I’m so very sorry. This world is going to miss Sassy Bear. I’m so sorry you are hurting but you were a great mom and she loved you so much. Godspeed Sassy Sugar Bear.
Patricia & Mighty Atlas
Thanks Patricia.
I can feel your pain through your words. I am so sorry that life is so unfair. Shari said the same thing to me, many of you have, and I didn’t believe it until it became true. There are no words to express the pain I feel for you, though I am sure it is nothing compared to the loss you are feeling.
Take comfort in the fact that she is no longer suffering, she is happy and looking down on you, asking you not to be sad because she knows you will meet again some day and you can be happy and carefree together for eternity.
Heather,
I know she doesn’t want me to be sad. It is so hard. I didn’t want to cry around her but I just couldn’t prevent myself from doing that. I still put my Tripawd necklace on today. Even though our journey maybe over it’s a part of me. I will probably always wear it.
And you and Sassy will always have our hearts! Always Michelle!
If our tears could help lessen your tears, you would be dry eyed. We all are crying right along withyou and feel like our hearts are broken. We can only imagine your despair right now.
Sassy will never, ever be forgotten. Her comtributions to us…your contributions tomus…are invaluable and everlasting.
Those pictures Michelle—those pictures! That portrait! Her essence has been captured perfectly with your forever treasures I am sooooo glad you have those wonderful, wonderful memories.
I think it was Christine who commented on the fact that, at least you were going to the vet for a “check-up” and whole attitude of the trip would have been much different otherwise. You gave her THE most loving, selfless act possible when you set her free. The ultimate gift of love for Sassy.
Michelle, please KNOW this to be true. Sassy lived….and continues to live….a life of meaning and purpose. When a life touches people’s hearts and minds like Sassy’s that’s infinite and life affirming.
The beacon of hope that she posses for us all will shine brightly forever. Her legacy will always be one of hope, perseverance, determnation, LOVE, gentleness, courage and incredible happiness and joy
You can never look at that face and ot smile! Sassy has got to be one of the happiest dogs on tne planet! Certainly one of the most spoiled and loved!
One thing I now with absolute certainty, you will feel the oresence of her energy, she will let you know that, not only is she still with you, ut that she is doing well, feeling good, breathing effortlessly. You will eventually sense all of that Michelle, if you haven’t already.
Sassy, thank you for being born and showing us all what the face of courage looks like. It looks just like you sweet one!
Michelle, I am sooooo privileged to call you and Sassy my family. I am soooo privileged to be on this journey with you. I am a better human being because of you and Sassy.
With heartfelt love,
Sally and Happy Hannah
Sally,
Your words mean so much right now. Thank you for posting.
I’m just sitting here bawling like a baby. Sassy was such a special girl. Please know that our thoughts are with you, Michelle. You know there was never a doubt in Sassy’s mind about how much she was loved.
Murphy and Kathi
Thanks Kathi.
You and Sassy were such a HUGE support for me ( and still are!!!) I look forward to your positive comments on my blog. Please know that you are in my heart and in my thoughts today. Tank might just have a big bowl of ice cream tonight to celebrate the fearless Sassy!!!! I agree that you were so strong and so right in your decision to let her go. She is running free and happy today!!!!! Big hugs to you and to Bocsh. It is never easy to be left behind. You are an inspiration and I appreciate all you do for this site.!
Lisa and Tank
Michelle, I am so very sorry, I can’t even believe it happened so quickly either. But yes, you did the honorable thing and you did right by your sweet girl. She did not suffer, and she left this earth with dignity.
I know how hard it is to go on but this is where Sassy’s lessons come in . . . be strong, be brave and live every day as if it were you last. You are More Dog. You can do it.
Our sincere condolences go out to you Michelle, we send all our love your way.
Oh sassy was such a beautiful girl. Thank you sassy for teaching us all how to fight. You were one amazing girl. Much love to you michelle. I pray that sassy wraps her spirit around you and comforts your heart.
Like I said Michelle.. you were so blessed.. not to make that phone call.. not to do that drive knowing that you would be coming home alone.. and Sassy knew that too.. she knew.. that sweet girl.. Sassy was a fighter to the end.. but I think she may have just said…..
“know what mom? I’m tired.. and I want to go play… I heard that Franklin’s farts were pretty toxic.. I gotta go check it out for myself.
But.. don’t worry.. cause I’ll be watching over you.. I’ll be with you.. even though you may not think it… Just close your eyes…. open your heart and you will feel me there!! I promise!!”
Bosch will not be himself.. nor was my Maggie.. and that hurts to see.. it doesn’t happen overnight but they will get better… they will cope.. they are quadpawd warriors!!
You know we all cry and hurt with you… those of us who have already lost our babies know exactly what you are feeling, it’s almost like we are re-living the pain all over again cause we have been there.. done that..
And then there are those pawrents who still have their furbabies with them, well.. they all cry and hurt as well because we all know that eventually, we all feel the same loss one day.
It’s so easy to say be strong.. but.. be yourself! If you feel like breaking down crying.. do it. If you feel like screaming in the basement like I did.. do it. If you feel like smushing your face in to Sassy’s blanket so you can smell her for comfort… DO IT!! But.. just remember to eat.. and drink lots of water… you do need your energy to get through it…
*hugs*
Michelle,
I am so, so sorry to hear about your loss. I loved reading about sassy’s journey. I had to take a break from Tripawds for a bit because sometimes the pain of Bruno being gone is more than I can handle. Just know that sassy will ALwAYS be with you and that her spirit will never leave your side. My heart breaks with yours but you did what needed to be done because you loved her so much. That selfless love set her free. We, here at Tripawds, will always be here for you and be a shoulder to cry or lean on as you grieve for your little girl. Best wishes. Stay strong
Maricela and Spirit Bruno
I am just now reading Sassy’s story, and what an awesome journey she had. My dog Belle was diagnosed with lung mets last week and I am just so very sad. I keep praying for a miracle.
Thank you for sharing Sassy’s journey with us.